Paradoxical Harmony

4 moments in Kansas

2011-08-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

This last weekend I went back to Manhattan and Kansas City. It was amazing of a reunion as I could have hoped for. The weekend consisted of catching up, baseball, settlers, stories, craps, homework, redbull, laughter, seizures, backgammon, church, movies, depth, and exhaustion. Within this weekend there were 4 moments that meant more to me than anyone will know.

1) Alumni Baseball Game. My childhood and baseball are synonyms. Every summer I played for an extremely talented little league baseball team. We would win NBC state every year and head off to nationals each August. We won the NBC Little League World Series in Minnesota when I was 14. Playing this final game of baseball with all of my college friends around was phenomenal. It didn't matter that I went 0-2 with a BB (even though I did hit a homerun in warmups). It mattered that I spent that afternoon playing a beautiful game with my close friends.

2) Craps in Topeka. This part of my weekend is all about fun. Roadtrips at 8pm to a casino with some of the funnest people I know. Anytime you can gather 5 hilarious people around one end of a craps table, AND the roller goes on a heater is going to be a great time. Especially being able to spend time with Guinty and Tim (I mean Roth).

3) A simple slap on the back. It was the smallest of moments, but when we were at Church in Kansas City the pact crew (minus 1) was sitting on the pews when Josh Tedder slapped me in the back and said that he was glad I was there. It was a small gesture and it came from no where. I felt loved right then. It was a good feeling.

4) Coffee shop with Marion. For a few hours on Monday, Marion Griffin and I sat at a coffee shop talking about our lives and our friends. We rehashed about the most recent issues flooding our minds and eventually landed on the topic of image and roles that we project to friends and strangers. Marion said some of the most genuinely nice things anyone's ever said to me. I think it helped me reconcile my life in Kansas City with my life in Austin. (Marion you're going to be a great therapist).

These are just a few moments in a weekend full of amazing moments.

forced to choose favorites (music edition)

2011-08-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

I got a new mp3 player a few days ago. It's not big, so it requires me to choose only my favorite artists. Thay are (in no order):

- Iron and Wine
- Sufjan Stevens
- The Avett Brothers
- Vampire Weekend
- Radiohead
- Mumford and Sons
- Sigur Ros
- Local Natives
- Jack Johnson
- MGMT
- Guster
- Fleet Foxes
- Explosions in the Sky
- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
- Dave Matthews Band
- Counting Crows
- Bon Iver

I'm very proud of this list.

when the question is usually the answer...i get confused

2011-08-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

How do you become more disciplined?

Being disciplined is usually the ANSWER to questions, not the question itself.

How do I get better at guitar?
You discipline yourself to sit down and work on it.
How do I connect with God better?
You discipline yourself to read the Bible everyday.
How do I become a better student?
You discipline yourself to go to a coffee shop and do the homework without looking at Netflix.

But how do you become more disciplined? No clue. I guess the answer is "just do it." After 25 years of living with myself, I know that I am undisciplined. I think the answer is to surround myself with people like Josh Tedder and Coulter Goodman who are extremely disciplined people. I guess...

Ok, enough of that. I have South Park and LOST to watch on Netflix.

I'm going to brag for a minute...

2011-07-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the hiatus. But I'm returning (not fully returned...but working on it)

I've been working as a Clinical Assistant for Brackenridge Hospital for about 4 months now. A short job description for my job is to help people for 8-12 hours each day. I really only have one official task and that is to take blood pressure and temperatures for the patients on my floor. After that, help people. Help the nurses by drawing blood, emptying fluid drains, transporting/moving patients, walking patients as part of their physical therapy. Helping the charge nurse by answering phones, knowing where the different paperwork is kept, getting rooms set up. Helping patients by giving baths, handing out food trays, changing bed sheets, and keeping an eye on the more "interesting" patients. Therefore, since I like helping people, I like my job.

I had my job evaluation two days ago. It's a nerve racking task, because I sit with my boss (who is not known for coddling people) for about an hour and talk about all the things you do well and poorly in the hospital. She reminds me of the principal or assistant principal who you DON'T want to see in highschool when you get in trouble. So I was quite nervous.

Within 30 seconds of being in her office I knew everything was going to be just fine. She had the nicest things to say to me. In fact, I think they were the nicest things anyone has ever said to me by someone who doesn't love me (so not including family, girlfriends, friends, etc...). She raved about my ability to pick up things quickly, to be available for helping others, my interaction/attitude with the nursing staff, and just about every aspect of the job. I don't think she had a single negative thing to say about me. She wanted me to start getting involved in committees and meetings in order to be more of a leader on the floor, and said she was eager to write me a letter of recommendation for nursing school. I walked out of her office floating on air, and ready to conquer the world.

I realize most of this blog post has been about how great I am. Really I'm imaging my mother being the only one who reads it, so I am directing this post towards her and she doesn't seem to get tired of hearing how great I am. I'm going to try and post more....well see if it happens.

Nonetheless...

2011-01-27T15:54:00.000-08:00

Martin Luther King Jr. was put in prison multiple times in his life. During that time he wrote letters, organized his mind, and refocused his thoughts. I envy that. I don't actually want to do any crimes or do things that are wrong, but I've often wished I were locked away in prison. Prison would allow me to appreciate things more, allow me to refocus my life, allow me to write the books I've always wanted to write, and allow me perspective. I recognize my own naivety in these wishes, but I still think them nonetheless.

For some reason I can't refocus my life on my own. I doubt I ever actually write the books that I've wanted to write, I doubt I'll ever truly appreciate things the way I should, and I doubt I'll ever live truly significantly. But I still wish them nonetheless.

Only a handful of people are chosen to be remembered years after their time is done. Only a small collection of people were chosen to be represented in the Bible. I can only think of maybe 10 people who were alive 1000 years ago. My name will not be remembered in 1000 years, but I wish it nonetheless.

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"Things that you Think" by Ben Folds and Pomplamoose

In 1450, there were about 100 new books published.
Last year there were more than a million.
A new book comes out every 30 seconds.
It would take me 15 years just to read the titles of every book ever written.

You're going to watch TV tonight?
Fair enough, I suppose...

Our universe consists of between 30-50 billion trillion stars.
Arranged in 80-140 billion galaxies.
Our nearest neighboring star is called proxima centuri and it's 4 light years away.

We need some bread, but it's really hot outside and I can't be bothered to walk around the corner...

==========

how to jason bourne your way into a job...

2011-01-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

if you want the reader's digest version of the story, jump to the ======== marks

here's the story of me finding work in Austin. it's a strange one, and there may be some lessons in there somewhere, but more than anything, it's luck.

PART 1: since moving to austin, i have a standard procedure when walking into any place of business. sample conversation:

them: "hi, welcome to _______"
me: "thanks, are you guys hiring right now?"
them: "i don't think we are right now, but you can always fill out an application"

the morning walked into the Lift Cafe with my friend Nic, I assumed the conversation would be the same. but instead of "i don't think we are right now" i heard "actually i think we might be." this was the first time i'd heard such a statement, and decided to act. i filled out my application, chatted with the manager, and found myself having an interview monday monring.

PART 2: on monday morning i came in about 9:45am to find out that the manager was not going to be in that morning and to come back tuesday. but i did chat with Ally, an assistant manager for about 20 minutes. we talked about the church she went to, and she directed me to how that church finds places to live (which is my biggest lead on an apartment right now). the conversation went great, and as i handed her my resume she became even more impressed (her major was also counseling). i left that afternoon feeling ubber confident.

PART 3: the interview on tuesday started well. manager tom was asking a lot of questions and the tone of the interview turned from "if you work here" to "when you work here." but then something HORRIBLE happened. he said that there weren't any current positions available but that it would be great if i could be an "on call barista." this means that he didn't want me on the schedule but on a random day i might get my chance to come in if someone else is sick. similar to a AAA pitcher being called to the big leagues. i obviously thought this was a load of crap, but didn't let him in on that. after about 2 more minutes of talking i decided to ask if it would be alright if i at least got trained, so that i could know what i was doing if i got called up (my real motivation was to be able to put "trained as a barista" on my resume). immediately tom seemed impressed and said, "actually, that's a great idea, why don't we get you trained, start you out at minimum wage, and see how things go. come by tomorrow at 9am."

PART 4: my training day went really well, and tom and the others seemed impressed with my work (even though i'd never worked at a coffee shop and did NOT know the difference between a cappiccino or latte (and i still don't know how to spell cappiccino). eventually tom left without telling me if i should come in again for training, and his wife, manager tori came in the shop. while she was here, she was surprised that tom had 'hired' a new person (she didn't know i was only training). and she talked to me about my availability and she put me on the schedule for the next 2 weeks.

PART 5: after working there a week and being fully trained i was introduced to the owners as 'the new employee.' i'm fully on the schedule and have impressed them all. so in summary, if you want a job. you have to ignore a manager who says "we aren't hiring right now" you have to rely on some miscommunication between two different managers, and you have actually be good at whatever you're doing. it's that easy.

==========

summary of how i got a job:
- went to coffee shop with a friend and filled out application.
- had interview where manager tom said, "no positions available, sorry"
- asked if i could be trained as a barista in case a position opened up
- tom agreed to train me the next day
- the next day manager tori comes in and didn't know i was going to be trained, and assumed i was a new employee
- tori put me on the schedule
- impressed them with my work abilities that they end up hiring me anyway

Problems and Solutions AKA Blessings

2011-01-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

PROBLEM: I was struggling to stay focused, determined, and driven while in Kansas City.
SOLUTION: I moved to Austin TX. (I write this blog in a coffee shop in Austin)

PROBLEM: My last visit in Kansas was to my mother's friend who happens to be a professor of nursing at Wichita State. As I left her house, I turned to say goodbye and accidentally hugged her. I have been used to hugging people goodbye over the last few weeks, and forgot exactly where I was...
SOLUTION: She laughed at me, and I laughed my way home.

PROBLEM: My first day in Austin my truck broke down and I thought it was going to be beyond repair.
SOLUTION: Though it looked horrible, it turns out the car only lost a pin that kept the wheel where it needed to be. Total cost to repair: $150. Amazing.

PROBLEM: I don't have a job, home, or church in Austin.
SOLUTION: I have worked on getting all 3 of those things, and am currently waiting to hear back from the Hiring Coordinator at the hospital here, I have found a place to live which will be nice and cheap, and I have meetings set up this week to meet with pastors at 2 local churches.

PROBLEM: I have a test in 14 days to qualify for a better job at the hospital and become a fully licensed EMT-Basic.
SOLUTION: 3 straight days of coffee shop studying. I only took a 10 minute break to write this post now. I grow more and more confident in my ability to pass this test as I study more and more.

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Though it is possible that all of these things will not work out, I am fully satisfied in my own approach to the problems. I have worked hard and feel like God is blessing me with solving each small problem at a time.

life update

2010-10-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

here's a list of the top 5 most important things in my life right now. no particular order:

1 - school. i realized that if you are a tweet only follower, you may be confused. about 2 years ago a tweet would have said, "so glad i'm finally done with school." and a tweet from a few days ago said, "there's a 16 year old in my human anatomy class. so do i have a 9 year advantage on him, or does he have a 9 year advantage on me?" I have returned to school. i have chosen a career. and i have chosen a few different paths to get me there. wish me luck. i'll need it.

2 - workout. it just started today. but my friend woodard and i have a friendly wager on doing a disciplined workout. if you want the details, ask me. lets just say that "paradoxical harmony" is an appropriate title for this endeavor as well.

3 - tweeting. it's true. i'm making a top 5 list and tweeting has to go on the list. i now have 2 twitter accounts. one as me and another as a hobby. no i wont tell you my other twitter name. you may already be my friend...dun dun dun....

4 - panera bread. i spend at least 3 nights a week studying at panera bread. they know me as the annoying guy who doesn't leave until he's forced out the door. amber the cute girl who wears too much make-up is a fun conversationalist...but panera is my dome of studying.

5 - max. max is my friend who is 8 years old and has cerebral palsy and severe brain damage. his family pays me to come over and watch out for him, clean him up, feed him, and do the same to their other 3 boys. i'm a glorified nanny, except for the glorified part.

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if you would have asked me my top 5 list about 2 weeks ago it would have been like this:

1-school.
2-tedder's wedding
3-chinese food (i ate chinese 4 days in a row without realizing it...now you see the reason for #2 on the above list)
4-tv watching (how i met your mother, parenthood, glee, and house)
5-tedder's wedding (i know i already said it...but it was a big deal)

car troubles...

2010-08-30T13:33:00.001-07:00

i've never been a conspiracy theorist. but i think i've found one that's true.

skip to after the ---- if you don't want the long story.

my green GMC sonoma was given to me as a hand me down from my father when i was 16. since my junior year of highschool i have loved this little truck. it's had it's share of close calls, battled a deer and won, gave me the sympathy needed to get 'warnings' instead of 'tickets', and had a bad experience with red slushy drinks in the passenger seat when i hit the brake too hard. it's a beautiful vehicle and i want all my vehicles to be just like this one.

when i received my truck in 2001, i was very grateful. my dad bought it new and had acquired around 125,000 miles on it. mentally, i told myself that i would care for this truck till it reached it's 200,000 landmark. at that point i would stop putting money into it, and when something happened that required a big fix, it would be time to get a new car.

as the miles crept closer and closer i got more and more excited to get to 200,000 miles. i imagined buying a bottle of champagne and putting it in my car. then whoever my destination was to see at 200,000 miles we would share in our joy, and drink to my green-hail-damaged friend. even if i was getting gas, then the gas attendant and i would share a glass of bubbly.

last weekend i drove to manhattan. at 199,554 miles on the odometer, my beautiful, magnificent, full of life vehicle, began to limp. true to my promise, i fixed it. a final last big fix before 200,000 miles.

the conspiracy comes in 2 forms. 1-if you make plans, something will challenge those plans at the last minute. i had a difficult time deciding whether to put these final big bucks into the vehicle or not. 2-if you take your car in for a quick tune up or oil change...you will have major problems directly after.

the sticker in the top left corner of my windshield said "next oil change 190,521 or 11/2009." when it turned "199,300" and it was "8/2010" i decided that i should probably take it in to change the oil. i had no problems with my beauty, but it was time to be safe. 1 week later and only 200 miles down the road i was calling AAA to get it towed.

-----

basically what happened to my car is that i took it to the dentist to get a cleaning after a LONG time of not seeing the dentist. 1 week after the dentist, my car cracked a tooth. it's just not right.

i'll still probably put that champagne in there. so invite me over if you want to be the big winner! probably sometime in the next 2 weeks.

My life as television...

2010-08-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

I have seen every episode of these television shows. I have ranked them from favorite to least favorite. Keep in mind that if I watched every episode, I obviously loved the show. Some shows I started, realized how dumb they were, and stopped (Grey's Anatomy, the O.C., etc...) Some shows are still going, others ended a long time ago.

FRIENDS - everything can be traced back to an episode of friends. especially now that I am 24, which is the age all of the characters started in Season 1 of FRIENDS.

LOST - if you've never watched LOST, now is the time. It's 6 seasons of amazing writing. no show has kept me more engaged for so long. 24, eat your heart out.

West Wing - if you want to know about the government, political ideas, why democrats do what they do, then watch the West Wing. the speed of the conversation almost needs a few watches to understand, but once you do, you can't stop thinking about this show.

Arrested Development - best ridiculous comedy out there. like scrubs, but about a family, and much more funny.

How I Met Your Mother - things in HIMYM remind me of FRIENDS. while the writing is better, and the characters are more funny, you don't find yourself identifying with the characters the way you do on Friends.

Rescue Me - most intense show i've ever seen. i found myself watching most episodes with my eyes wide open and shocked at what ends up happening. and the comedy catches you off guard so it ends up being hilarious.

Scrubs - if you ever need a pick-me-up, pop in Scrubs. so ridiculous and you love the characters.

Gilmore Girls - fast and hilarious. i believe that if this show had a different title, that tons of guys would love it. but they dismiss it because it has "Girls" in the title. so funny.

Dorm Life (webisode) - you can find these at www.dorm-life.com. so so funny. ridiculous characters, and you can waste a lot of time watching these 10 min. long videos. so good.

Freaks and Geeks - good writing. rough acting. it's only 2 seasons so it's worth a watch.

House - House is rough. it's interesting, and intense, but after watching it once, I never find myself wanting to watch it again.

Dragonball Z - 6th grade. how i miss thee. from the vegeta series to boo, i watched it all. we would watch them while playing starcraft and where in the world is carmen san diego.

Sopranos - after a while, this show slows way way down. the first season is good, but after that it just became a grind to finish. but unlike a lot of people, i really liked the way it ended.

i'm debating which show i should watch next. anyone have thoughts:
- Weeds
- Dexter
- Breaking Bad
- Mad Men
- Criminal Minds
- other...

Canal Diving, Bike Riding, Electricity...

2010-08-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

Better late than Never. A story from Africa...

Our first day at the Drakensburg Amphitheatre. After being shown around and eating some lunch we rented bicycles and went on a ride. First off, the bikes s u c k e d. (i'm trying this new spacing thing on words I emphasize...we'll see how it goes). My bike had a flat tire and the brake would constantly rub on the wheel, Tedder's tire went WAY flat and couldn't change gears, and our new friend Mohinder (not his real name...i don't remember his real name), his bike had a bad seat, tires rubbed on the brake, and his gears didn't work. Yikes.

Riding along the grass in the open field was rough, with bumps and holes all over the place. Tedder and Woodard had a bet to see who was going to fall first. Woodard both lost the bet, and was the one who fell. The field was tough to navigate through because our map was hand drawn and had things like "fence" and "pathway" as markers (the whole place was filled with fences and pathways). Eventually we made it to a gate and canal where we stopped and took pictures. We stood on the ledge that bridged across the canal. Woodard, slightly afraid of standing on ledges, thought death was imminent if we fell. I disagreed, and led to me discovering just how deep the canal was. The only way to discover...experiments!

I don't know why stuff like this makes me so happy. I love the random side adventures that come with traveling. Tiny moments where you have to decide to do something a little dumb and a lot of fun. Jumping in lakes fully clothed, going up to strangers and talking to them (not attractive girls though, that's too terrifying), being the first to jump off the cliff at Pillsbury...moments like that. They are tiny moments that remind me that life is supposed to be fun and experienced.

So after getting into the canal, and discovering it's well over my head, we adventured onward. I put my clothes back on and started riding down a dirt road. We were all separated by about 50 yards or so and I was in the front. While I was riding, all of a sudden, I felt something sharp poking me in my leg. It felt like a sharp object poking me in my inner right thigh. So I adjusted, but then it felt like a sharp object in my inner left thigh. It hurt like hell, so I stopped my bike and got off. Then something started poking my hand. It freaked the hell out of me!

As the rest of the boys caught up to me I heard them all saying things like "ow", "what the hell", "something is stinging me". Then we all looked up. We were riding under some MAJOR electric lines. These are the heavy duty ones with about 20 wires, thick wires, going along a highway. The electricity from those wires, over 6 stories above us, caused us to get shocked by any metal we touched. So the metal just under my seat was touching my thigh and when I braked, my hand touched a tiny metal screw next to the hand brake.

We sprinted away from under the wires. Still a little spooked. It's scary to think that you are getting poked or stung all over your body without seeing the reason.

stories to come...

2010-07-15T03:05:00.000-07:00

fear not. africa stories will come as soon as i have regular internet.

summary of trip = adventurous, beautiful, hilarious.

i'm rereading Catcher in the Rye. this means that, once again, i'm inspired to be a writer. i'll practice by writing my stories on this blog. i'll be home in 3-4 days. love.

waking up without an alarm clock...

2010-06-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

it amazes me how much time can be wasted in front of a TV. yesterday i had a list of things i wanted to do once i got back from wichita. reading, writing, rowing, working on the deck, and other things. i started off by watching "Cash Cab" with dinner. i finally turned the TV off after 'you've got mail' at 12:30 at night. what a wasted day (even though i do love you've got mail)

i love living at he lake. though i haven't been as productive as i would have liked, i'm still love being here. my favorite aspect is waking up without an alarm clock. i wake up with the sun shining in my room around 8:00 and finally get out of bed around 9:30 or so. there's something about living with no expectations.

i've also been playing a lot of golf. i can thank tedder and mar for that. i'm getting good too...

i got my father's LP record player up here at the lake now. i listened to the Beatle's Hard Days Night twice through this morning. Then switched it over to Let it Be. Tonight I play on listening to The Who and journalling.

Yes, I am trying to make you jealous by this post. I love living here. You should join me. I'm here till the 24th or so. Don't come this weekend though. I'll be in Wichita for the world cup beginning!!!

an uncle's eyes...

2010-06-01T23:18:00.002-07:00

most of the time i act out what i think i'm supposed to do. i react because i'm supposed to react that way. i laugh at the punchline, regardless of the joke.

i once told a group of friends that i am immune to emotion, feeling, and taste. we still laugh about how ridiculous that sounds.

....

my friends, this weekend i became an uncle. there was no feigning emotion. there was no immunity to feelings. i looked at my nephew's tiny mouth as he hiccuped and whispered in my nephew's tiny ears that 'you are loved.' i teared up with joy, shivered at the fear of his endless possibilities, and prayed hard for my sister's health and strength.

to pass the 22 hours of hospital stay i periodically made small talk with the nurses at the hospital. one in particular became a friend. after baby jace was born she asked me as i walked passed, "so, what do you think?" i responded, "i think...i think he's...perfect." this small creature is as perfect a person can be. he has yet to fail. yet to lie. yet to cheat, steal, or destroy. don't get me wrong, i know he will someday. but for right now, he is perfection in flesh. the thought makes me both smile and shudder. his endless possibilities are...perfect.

jace has already inspired me to be a better person. and in 30 minutes he'll be exactly one day old. i wonder what he'll teach me next.

my father's eyes

2010-04-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

a big part of my job is teaching 12-14 year old's discipline. and the 15 year old in me hates it when i use the same phrases as my father. the worst part is, i don't know if i'm saying them because i now believe them or because i don't know what else to regurgitate.

"because I said so"
"instilling work ethic"
"slow as molasses"

yikes...

a kid in my class is telling me that school is completely worthless to him because the only things he cares about is drumming and skating. he could not grasp the reasons he needed to fill out a homework assignment on mathematical line slopes. the 15 year old in me agreed with him.

i feel like i was asleep most of my life. people told me what to do and i did it. i worked hard to get A's because i was supposed to. i liked challenging myself, not because i liked the work, but because i liked the small games i played in my head. (how fast can i get this done? who turned their paper in before me, and did i get a better grade then them? who holds the world record for writing down his multiplication tables? no one? I DO NOW!!)

sometime around my junior or senior year of highschool i woke up from my slumber. i woke up from my obedience of getting things done. it wasn't a grand awakening or great enlightenment. in fact, it was the opposite. my grades went down, my work ethic was shot, and i didn't care. then sometime in the last few years i've had another awakening. a realization that floating only took me so far. maybe my dad was right all along.

i highly doubt if any of this made sense. basically i needed to unleash some intense emotions after yelling at a 12 year old for over 15 minutes for having the same attitude that i am just now growing out of. it's like a dirty mirror reflecting my life.

if only i knew then what i know now...
if only i knew now what my 35 year old self will know...

2010-04-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

creating a habit...

bahaha...

ok seriously though, i'm on this workout kick. it all started when i looked down at my belly and realized that i looked like i was 4 months pregnant.

now that my original 30 day workout is over, i'm allowed to enjoy beer again. but the workout habit has stuck. i'm now doing "Shaun T's Insanity Workout." It's basically the 60 day version of p90x without weights or bands. all plyometrics stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLK28BHJDd8
check it out here.

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In other news, I bought a bicycle last week. On the first day I rode 8-10 miles and have rode everyday since i bought it (except yesterday). Needless to say, my bum is super sore...no football slaps for at least a week, ok guys?

The bike is going to be a fixed bike once I buy/find a cog. So in no time I'll be as cool as these guys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7ShkixCuR0&feature=related

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In other other news. I've found my calling in life. It's to travel the world and help people cross off "things I want to do before I die" items. If I can get these guys to join me, it would be even better.

They made a tv show about my idea...it's on MTV or www.tvshack.net. The Buried Life. So good.

Also, who wants to join me on an Across the Country bike trip. I'm in the process of thinking about it. It takes 2 months or so.

WORKOUT OVER!!!

2010-04-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today is April 1st. 30 workouts over!

Don't think that my lack of videos meant that I went soft on my workouts. The truth is I tried to make two different videos earlier in the month, but I couldn't get the videos to work. I have a some good stories and I hope to tell them over the next few blog entries. It was a great experience. I feel very proud that I accomplished something like this. I messed up twice, but it still was 30 workouts in 32 days. Not too shabby.

Here are some before and after pictures.

I think I was pregnant in the before picture.

I know there isn't a huge difference. But to me, there is. Pants fit better, I can see a few abs, and I don't cry whenever I look in the mirror anymore. It's great!

I also lost 12 pounds. I went from 194 lbs to 182 lbs.

I'm most excited about being able to eat chinese food again and have a few beers. Not at the same time, that's not good. Well anyway...there you have it. 30 workouts OVER!

30 day workout...day 8

2010-03-11T14:21:00.001-08:00

live action video blog.

please spare the comments on how weak i am...believe me...i know

this was day 8, i started my week 1 over again. it wasn't any easier the second time.

also, i'm starting to feel a lot of fatigue. it's a strange feeling. it's not soreness or pain, it's a general soreness throughout my whole body. like i just woke up from a 3 hour sunday afternoon nap. i think i need more carbs and protein in my diet...

facebook doesn't show the videos...so if you're reading this on facebook go to:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rYQkrLpJaU
or
www.kevinhubbard.blogspot.com

peace

30 day workout...day 6

2010-03-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

DAY 6!!!

Fake Patty's Day was no obstacle for 30 workouts in 30 days!

I'm trying to get caught up on these blogs but it's taking longer than I thought.

I'm staying strong on my diet. Today I ate solely jellybeans and pop-sickles. And I think it's really starting to show. (that was for you Sekoch)

But seriously, I'm starting to see small differences. I may have found an ab or two underneath the flabby exterior. So far so good.

30 day workout...day 5

2010-03-09T19:07:00.000-08:00

day 5 was march 5th...

days 2 thru 4 went really well. i was sore as crap, but it was worth it. here's a little video i made on day 5.

different days had different workouts. i made this baked chicken with chipotle raspberry sauce that was really good to eat, but looked like it had mold all over it.

other than that, it's been a good tough week. more videos to come

30 Day Workout - Day 1

2010-03-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

Check out my new video. I've actually been doing this for a week now, but just now have been able to put up the videos for it. I'll try to get caught up.

Day 1 Routine:

Breakfast:
Granola Bar
2 Eggs
Banana
Water

Lunch:
6" Subway Sandwich
Water

Dinner:
2 Baked Potatoes
Salsa
Tortilla Chips
Water

Workout:
Ran 2.9 Miles in the am
Ran 1.1 Miles to warm up
4x25 Pushups
4x25 Squats
4x25 Sit Ups
4x10 Pull Ups
Walk back home

i've made a huge mistake...

2010-03-03T07:17:00.001-08:00

I did my taxes last weekend. I sat with my father and went over my bank statements, w2's (all 5 of them), 1099s, investments, school funds, and everything else involving money.

On a seemingly unrelated note, I signed up for Rhapsody online in 2005 when I was a freshman in college. It costs 14.99 and I can get unlimited songs. It's amazing and I still use it to this day. In 2006, my mother thought it would be a good idea to pay for my Rhapsody subscription for a year, so I switched over the account to my mom and dad's credit card.

Merging these two unrelated ideas, when I went over my bank statements with my dad we realized that both my parents and I have been paying 14.99 for a ONE account subscription since 2006. They have been double charging us. That's 14.99 x 12 months x 3 years = 539.64. Yeah, I know.

I called up Rhapsody and got it worked out but was only able to be refunded for 1 years worth. Sucks for me. But I thought that was a funny story.

It's the smallest of changes...

2010-03-02T06:55:00.000-08:00

If you adjust your thoughts just a little. A world of joy can be opened to you.

I used to hate waking up in the morning. And I'd hate it even more if I woke up in the middle of the night. If I looked at my alarm clock and it said 3:06am, I was annoyed and angry. So bitter, in fact, that it would take me a while to calm down and fall back asleep.

I was complaining about this to my first roommate in college Brad, and he told me that it was completely different for him. He loved waking up at 3:06am because it meant he had another 4 hours to sleep. This concept, blew my mind. But since then, I've never been bitter about waking up.
---

Working out was extremely difficult for me. I hated the feeling of being sore. I couldn't stand easily, I couldn't walk normally, and if I ever tried to shoot a basketball after working out my arms, I'd be lucky if it made it halfway to the basket.

A few weeks ago, my now roommate Jacob told me that he loves the feeling of being sore. It gave him a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. A constant reminder that he bettered himself the day before.
---

I began my 30 workouts in 30 days yesterday. I'm sore as crap now. I love it though. There's no other feeling I would want. I'm going to blog about it some more later and possibly do a video blog about my workout adventures. Stay tuned...

Music...

2010-02-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

last weekend was great. i got paid, friends traveled to manhattan, drinks with roommates, sneaking into a hotel to go hot-tubbing, good movies, crazy stories, 5 hours at a coffee shop, and a lot of fun.

the weekend ended by going over to my new friend's stephanie and bonnie's house for some hookah and stories. we ended up playing a game where we thought of different songs and let our minds take us back to a memory. steph told us about this song and how it made her think of riding her father's motorcycle in the summer. i almost felt like i was there with her as she described it. it was good.

'linger' by the cranberries - i remember being in the girl's room in oxford while 8 of us turned the lights out and listened to this song. i remember feeling very peaceful.

'i want you back' by nsync - i remember mowing my lawn listening to this song on repeat between 6th and 7th grade. i remember thinking how i'd made a horrible decision to break up with my girlfriend at the time. i later wrote this song into a note for her...and yes, i got her back.

'stars' by david crowder - i remember being on the side of marion county lake talking with josh tedder about his mom. changed my perspective about life.

'auto rock' by mogwai - if my life had a soundtrack, this song would be the top track. it makes me feel simple and inspired.

God bless music.

reply to @jacobrstarkey.blogspot.com

2010-02-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

last year i went on a safari in africa. we were watching a herd of hundreds and hundreds of wildebeests, zebras, gnus, and gazelles attempt to cross a river. with the mouths of 20+ crocodiles waiting for them, the herd got closer and closer to the water.

the flow that these animals took was phenomenal. in one motion they would go towards the water, the slow down, stop about 15 feet from the river, then go back where they came from without ever crossing. the animals knew they had to cross, but they were terrified to do it. this routine of rushing towards the water, getting scared, and rushing away again could continue for hours. we watched this dance with fate for a few hours.

the most interesting part, it only takes 1 animal to dare to cross. when one zebra finally decides that it's time to go, then they ALL will cross. hundreds and hundreds of animals are willing to cross once somebody else is the first to go.

if you want to watch the hand held video of it. jump it to 6:52 if you want to see it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4h_QqrklBg

call me a douche...but....

2010-01-26T08:35:00.001-08:00

What if we told the random strangers exactly what we thought.

---"ma'am you look ridiculous with that much make-up on"

---"sir, that facial hair makes you look European. but not in a good way. shave it off."

it's not that i want to be mean to random strangers. but i think it would be beneficial to throw constructive criticism their way.

---"you'll never get a boyfriend with your 'he needs to love me for me' attitude and only wear sweatpants when you leave the house. it's just not going to happen for you"

---"you eat like a horse, sir. please. take a little time for chewing if you can."

Try to get arrested in Texas...

2010-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

So I was driving down to Austin over night last night. The week prior I was trying to get ahold of a radio guy named Bobby Bones so I could sit in on his show. I gave up hope that he would allow me to come up there, but then I got a call at 6:10am. I got on the air and he told me if I could get to Austin by 9:30 I could come up. I'm a long ways away, so I start HAULING to get there on time. Sure enough, an hour later PULLED OVER.

I called back to the Bobby Bones show and told them what happened and that I wouldn't be able to make it in time, and that was on the air too. It sucked, but it's kind of a funny story. Sorry Aunt and Uncle for using your car to commit a misdemeanor. Oops.

If you want to hear me on the radio, search "Bobby Bones" on iTunes. Click the podcasts. Then on today's date (1/22/10). My segments are titled "Kermit Bomb 3." It's at the end of the segment. And the longer one is at the beginning of "Steak Dinner 9." Sucks for me. But a story I'll probably tell for a while...

Maybe I need to watch Dirty Dancing...

2010-01-21T06:59:00.000-08:00

So I went to Auntie Mae's "Trivia Smack Down" last night. Ouch. I think I need to buy a Trivial Pursuit game. Or I need to hang out with Josh Tedder more. Either way, I need to get smarter.

I feel like we got unlucky with our easy questions. For example, we were asked what the Dirty Dancing song by Eric Carmen was? We're 5 dudes who are hoping for movie and sports questions. Then when we finally get a sports question it's "in Nascar, what is the color of the flag signaling one lap left." Frick. I don't watch Nascar. And those were the easy ones.

Anyway, if you're smart. And know random crap. Please come join us Wednesdays at 7:45!! It's pretty stinkin fun.

New Roommate...

2010-01-12T11:57:00.000-08:00

Everyone needs to welcome Stephen Freese. He can do things like this:

I know right...
=====

Since he's new to Manhattan, I was thinking of all the must do's/see's that our wonderful little city offers. I've been here over 6 years, and this is the short list I've come up with. Feel free to add your own in the comments. In no particular order:

- Call Hall ice cream
- watch a storm roll in from "Top of the World"
- get kissed in the "A Hole"
- Lawn chair for 4 hours at Pillsbury Crossing
- Get a Fishbowl/Fishtank at Fats
- Vista Burger greasiness
- Any shot from the "I Double Dare You" menu at Shot Stop
- Anything from TADS
- Grill out at Tuttle Creek
- Walk into Rusty's just to see how disgusting it is
- Irish Car Bomb from O'Malley's
- Frisbee/Football/Soccer at Old Stadium
- Pita Pit, no earlier than 2:10am
- Pinapple Beer from So Long Saloon
- Fake Patties Day (only time i've ever seen a cop conducting a DUI test before 10:00am)
- 50 cent tacos at Tubby's
- Long walk at Konza Prairie
- Enjoy an evening at the Little Grill
- Hit up the Farmer's Market
- Compare Radina's to Bluestem 100 times and still not know which is better
- A bike ride with the DBC!

2010-01-05T21:38:00.000-08:00

Movies...

Some movies don't show me anything (Die Hard, the Incredibles, Dumb and Dumber) but they are just entertaining as hell.

Some movies speak a different message based on where I am in my own life. Braveheart and Band of Brothers, for example. When I first watched them, they made me want to fight a war and earn glory and honor. Now, years later, when I rewatch them, they make me want to believe in something outside of myself. To stand firm in a conviction of unwaivering truth.

I just rewatched (500) Days of Summer. The first time I watched it, I was floored. The movie reflected something about my life that I didn't like. An ache, an agony, and a desperation. It wasn't the movie itself, it was the emotions the movie brought out of me. The second time I watched it, I was floored again. But with a completely different set of emotions. I was made happy by it.

I was talking to a friend about the way that movies can make us feel. How Sleepless in Seattle makes us want to reach out and touch someone and know true love. How Motorcycle Diaries makes us want to live out on the road to find adventure and excitement. How Life as a House makes us want to reconnect with the ones we love.

But now I'm questioning...
Are all these emotions bullshit? Are they movie magic trying to make us feel one way or another without being authentic? Or, do these movies bring up underlying things about ourselves that are already true? Are they a new kind of mirror, allowing us to reflect?

I'm settling somewhere closter to the latter. I think the emotions already exist. It's the movie that stirs the pot.

Either way, (500) Days of Summer, great movie. You can watch it here. You can actually watch almost ANY movie there.

christmas-y

2009-12-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling uber Christmas-y and i'm not exactly sure why. When I was a kid, I LOVED decorating the house, putting up the tree, playing christmas music, and all that. But in highschool, I lost that magic. This year, I found it again.

We had a bunch of people come over to the house for Christmas Decorating 2009. We used all of Kathy (our landlandy's) christmas decorations. It was a magical night: christmas songs, cookies, putting up the tree, stringing lights. But it also had its trashy side, with the 1 string of lights in the window, the star of david made out of beaded chains on the wall, the black baby angel on the top of the tree, and the fan that turned into abstract decoration art. You should come over sometime, it's great.

Bethany and Sarah were party guests of the night because they wore the most christmas-y christmas sweaters. Starkey was DJ extraordinair. And Roth's pranking made the night a hit. I loved every minute of it.

my personal top 5 chrismas-y things:
5- from age 6-12 we hung up a picture that had small candy compartments in it that you opened the days of december. i was the even numbers, my sister the odd. i loved that thing.

4- my mom on the piano and the 5 of us (dad, sister, grandma, grandpa, and me) would sing christmas songs. we sounded horrible, but i can still hear my grandma's vibrato in my head.

3- the arguments over what movie to see the day after christmas (everyone had to see the same one). feelings would get hurt, it was awesome.

2- when mom put me in charge of putting the decorations on the tree. we had a tall skinny box of decorations and one year, i was put in charge of all decorations. i was 8 or so, and LOVED it.

1- our "christmas videos" vhs. it was a compilation of charlie brown christmas, rudolph, frosty the snowman, mickey's christmas carol, and twas the night before christmas (the one with the cartoon mice). my sister and i watched it every year. then we would usually put in 'white christmas' and we'd both fall asleep around the "count your blessings instead of sheep" song.

i'm getting a heavy wiff of nostalgia, so i'd better head out. merry christmas everyone.

drawing on napkins means its time to leave...

2009-11-30T20:05:00.000-08:00

why does walking to radinas to get on twitter and facebook seem so much more productive than doing it at home? maybe because i enjoyed talking to the lady behind the coffee counter who made my hot chocolate...who knows

does anyone feel like a smooth operator when they are behind a keyboard. but as soon as your on the phone or talking in person you turn into M O R O N. i could be don juan if i didn't have to look people in the eye.

final sickness update. 7 straight days of being out with 'the strep.' now i'm feeling great. i learned that you can truly feel rested if you sleep over 12 hours a day for 7 days straight. even though i was sick, i feel like my body is c0mpletely rested. when i woke up this morning for work at 6:45 I was instantly wide awake feeling great. all i could think of was, "so this is what waking up is SUPPOSED to feel like."

trying to find good twitter accounts to follow. if you have suggestions, tell me. (don't say people like shaq, ashton, or famous people that i don't care about) i'm looking for things like this or this. like a cnn of funny things, is there a twitter for that. same with blogs. tell me if you know any of those too...

i'm out. radinas partner has resorted to drawing on napkins...this means we need to leave.

reading at the speed of light through 10-page books

2009-11-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

'a series of unfortunate events' makes me feel like i can read really fast. a feeling i've never had. but when each page is only 22 lines, you can seriously fly through a book.

is it possible that my upper lip is caving in on itself due to chapped-ness. will my lip be gone by the time i'm 50. i'm seriously a little worried about it.

lately, i've been a part of/read about/heard stories about/seen a lot of confrontation. they should rename november to "confront that one guy about the thing" month. or no shave november. that probably works the best. one day i'd love to participate in no shave november and not look like i have dirt all over my face.

i learned a lot about my old friends this weekend. i will be confronting you about it these stories in the near future. most of the confrontations will sound like this, "how could you have not told me you did...such and such... that's such a great story!"

tiny rambos and internet mistresses...

2009-11-11T08:46:00.001-08:00

i don't know why i go on these long breaks with blogger. i guess it's hard to date 3 different websites at once. twitter is the girl who's every moment makes you happier. it's still in the 'get to know you' phase, but the time we've spent together is magical. facebook is the steady girlfriend. the one where we know eachothers flaws but love eachother anyway. facebook and i are in love, while twitter and i are just in 'passionate like' with one another. blogger, however...blogger is the girl you call up when you're really drunk, really lonely, really happy, or a mix between all 3. blogger sees the extreme side of you, but is always ready and willing for that 1:00am text or call.

it's hard having 3 mistresses.

= = = = = = = = = = = =

few things i've been wanting to say:

1- most intense day of my work life was today. i'll try my best to throw in a few tid-bits at a second twitter i started (MidSchoolQuotes). but i'm pretty sure i'm not allowed to say much legally. i will say that it involved the police, a runaway, a wrestling match between a 74 pound kid and a 200 pound principal, the police again, a small version of rambo, and divine intervention. ask me. it's a good story.

2- chicago trip this weekend (fingers crossed). pact crew to visit chitown without a single plan. sounds like the perfect weekend. also getting a chance to see this girl who i haven't seen in a thousand years. it's a tragedy that needs a remedy. and that remedy is saturday night.

3- started reading lemony snicket. love it, which officially makes me have the reading level of a 4th grader. but to make myself feel better, i started yesterday on book 1 and am already half way through it.

4- i'm learning how to save people's lives. no kidding. but emt class is freakin hard. why God made the human body so complex is a mystery and i don't like it. (btw, don't ask me to save your life yet, i'd probably wet myself attempting)

5- attn. all KC readers of this blog. find me a job, find me an apartment, find me a 4 year school, and i will join you. as cheap trick said, "i want you to want me. i need you to need me. i'd love you to love me."

6- didn't i didn't i didn't i see you crying, didn't i didn't i didn't i see y......ummmm....sorry.

7- i did my first ever 'defriending' on the advice of her. don't hate me if we're not facebook friends anymore. but if you read this, we should be fine...

in the words of my middle school companion "i'm leaving here and there's no way anyone's going to stop me. now get out of my way so i can leave"

the SIMs: middle school edition

2009-10-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

sometimes...most of the time...kids can be mean. i get to see the whole thing as if it were a sim city game. "SIM MIDDLE SCHOOL." the task is to get as many people to think you're cool while simultaneously making everyone else less cool.

WAYS TO GET 'COOL POINTS':

--pick on someone who is an easy target (the kid who hasn't hit puberty, the kid who hangs out with the LD students, the pokemon card carriers).

--cause your group of friends to laugh at something. most of the time this has to do with humiliating another member of the group of friends which causes them to lose 'cool points.'

--you would think that getting the girls to like you would be a way of getting the 'cool points' but actually it doesn't work that way. making fun of a guy who has a crush on a girl, however, easy way to pick up a few points

--causing someone else to get in trouble without being a snitch

There are dozens of other ways to win this game. None of which has to do with being a kind person, helping others, working hard, being an unconditional friend, or treating people respectfully.

I don't like this game. It isn't real. The players are real, and the harm that is caused is real. But the imaginary scale that these kids put themselves on, is not real.

the adventures of skeptical-man

2009-09-23T07:18:00.001-07:00

I don't know what my deal is. But every time I get around a Christian setting I turn into SKEPTICAL-MAN. Who's super powers involve making me judge everyone, critique their theological discrepancies, and label those around me. For example, this morning a friend of mine said the phrase while praying, "I hope that we can make Christianity more attractive." All I could think of after that is how we shouldn't need need make Christianity attractive. We don't need to dress it up and put make-up on it in order to make a sale. That truth should speak for itself. That Christ's life/my life should speak for itself.

Then after giving a mini-sermon to myself and making me feel superior...I realized my own stupidity and felt annoyance for most of the morning.

I feel like Ross in FRIENDS when he keeps correcting people's grammar (except it's in my head). I hate that about myself. SKEPTICAL-MAN needs to be defeated by JUST-CHILL-AND-ENJOY-STUFF-MAN.

mid. sch. fav. (abbr. req. 4 tit.(le) plz.)

2009-09-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

now that I'm back in midsch, I want to talk about a few of my favorite things to do.

1: and it will remain number 1, catching the line cutters at lunch. new policy puts them back to the VERY back of the line (at least a 12 min. wait) even for the smallest of line jumping. i'm cruel. but it's my own fun game.

2: jokingly grabbing the bad/fun kids by the neck and squeezing them. i only do this to the ones that WONT sue me, and on second thought, posting it here on my blog may prove to be a poor choice.

3. making bad jokes into the radio. all the supervisors have radios and ear pieces. never a day goes by that a joke is not told. and there has yet to be a good joke.

4. talking to the office ladies. i don't know what it is about midsch, but every one of them has AMAZING ladies in the office. they joke around and goof off, but still get everything done. it's like being the office aid in 8th grade...but whenever i want.

5. constantly searching for great quotable lines from these middle schoolers. I've found a few, and they can be found on my twitter (kevinHubbard) or my facebook.

6. getting a USAToday and attempting to do the crossword. I fail miserably every time, but then there is my new favorite website to pick up the slack.

7. www.sporcle.com

8. making lists and posting them on blogger...

kHub

choice

2009-08-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

i believe in choice more than i believe in anything else. ANYTHING. it isn't the society around us that creates who we are...it is the society we choose to put around us that creates who we are. we choose whether to turn on FOX NEWS or CNN or none at all. We choose the people we hang out with, we choose our roommates, we choose whether or not to drink that extra shot of tequila. we choose to have sex with that girl or not, or at least we choose to put ourselves in a position to have sex with them. you choose the books you read, you choose the shows you watch.

so that creates a scary idea. you choose who you become.

and the traveling stops...boo...

2009-08-15T15:16:00.000-07:00

--MANHATTAN to WICHITA

--WICHITA to DALLAS

--DALLAS to LINCOLN, KS

--LINCOLN, KS to MANHATTAN

--MANHATTAN to WICHITA

--WICHITA to MANHATTAN

I think my summer traveling has ended. Manhattan, I choose you. (for one more year)

goals and gravitas...

2009-08-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

goal number 1: everyday i want to walk into a gas station and purchase a USA Today or some other newspaper magazine along with an Arizona Green Tea. the main reason for this is to establish a morning tradition so that i'm not waking up 15 minutes before i'm supposed to be at work. also, i think i'll enjoy reading the newspaper everyday. plus, Arizona Green Tea is good.

goal number 2: fearlessness. i'd like to have a little more gallant, and a little less worried about what others think. i wanted to say gravitas because i thought it meant ballsiness. but apparently it means seriousness or sobriety. i'm officially changing the meaning of gravitas to mean ballsiness.

goal number 3: don't let this guy turn me into an agnostic. i don't think he is, but he claims a lot of stuff. including telling me that he's allowing LOST to determine his theological basis. (my friend is in your hands damon lindelof....dont' fail me)

goal number 4: stop making goals and to do lists and not accomplishing them.

goal number 5: make my own food. invite you, and you, and you, and you and all of you over to eat it.

"so how was your summer?" "(insert rehearsed answer here)"

2009-08-06T19:22:00.001-07:00

summer is over and you know what that means...internet access once again!! i will once again be back onto the blogger/twitter/facebook scene. expect writings to come out daily.

--marion this is for you: i want to start writing a book. i have the ideas but i don't have the inspiration or motivation. can you help me?

--there's something noble about working a 40 hour week doing manual labor. problem is...nobility is not enough for me to do it for the rest of my life. not a chance...

--lake this weekend. reunion of the pact crew. you bet!

--i'm going to be getting the question, "how was your summer?" so i thought i'd give the long version here:

my summer was a mixture of lousy and terrible with a few shimmers of goodness in between. i spent the summer in wichita living with my parents which SUCKED. don't get me wrong i love the family, but it led to having multiple conversations with mom and dad about what i want to do with my life. a scary topic...and one to be discussed later. i could have been in alaska this summer...i regret not going.

sucky summer things:
1) poison ivy...on my manparts,
2) poison ivy a month later all over my legs,
3) a breakout of a common childhood disease that caused me to miss work for a week...aka shingles...
4) burned this shit out of my hand on my last day of mowing work,
5) i mowed most of the summer,
6) being at home somehow slows my ability to get things done,
7) i'm only a little closer to figuring out what career i want to do.

awesome summer things:
1) multiple lake weekends,
2) a lot of tedder/jacob/dunham/crandall time,
3) feeling productive again once i made it to the farm,
4) cousins wedding,
5) met some new and very cool people (missy, molly, saturday night college group),
6) became reaquainted with my bicycle,
7) learned to appreciate coffee shops.

conclusion...i haven't decided if my summer was good or not. so final answer to "how was your summer, Kevin?" answer: "it was alright."

so live your life...

2009-04-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

Recent Obsessions:

1. Twitter - at first it seems pointless. but slowly it catches up with you. and eventually you find yourself lost in the twitterness of life. my favorite twitterer is Christopher Walken (but he seems to get kicked off a lot, making me think it's not actually him).

2. Royals Baseball - I do love the game. But it has become an obsession because of Ben Cook and some of the other baseball guys. They will almost have me convinced that the Royals are REALLY good this year, but then i snap back to reality and realize that Mike Aviles is our middle infielder. Let's be honest. The royals are simply not that great. I want them to be...but they just aren't.

3. Fantasy Baseball - Who knew I would ever care that Daisuke pitched 1 inning and let 5 earned runs crossing the plate leaving me with a 45.00 ERA and in last in almost EVERY pitching category. I never thought I would care...but I do. I really, really do.

4. This one may be cheezy. But I am absolutely loving the people that I hang out with this semester. This year is starting to rank as one of my best in college. So here's to you, Josh Tedder, Zach Anderson, Josh Woodard, the Settlers crew, the Pact Girls, the O-House, the baseball guys, the blogspot buddies, facebook faithful, and twitter tweeters. You have made this semester great.

more blogger, less facebook notes...

2009-03-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

so i'm reading Harry Potter. and i love it. BUT there are a few things I don't like:

1-Qudditch is an illogical sport. catching the snitch ends the game, but there's not reason to catch it if you are behind by more points than the snitch is worth...

2-Harry is actually an annoying character. he cares way to much what other people think and gets mad at stupid stuff...

3-Any character that wont believe the truth because they just don't want to believe it makes me really mad. Fudge, Umbridge, you ruin the book for me...

OK, I've read through book 5 and started 6 today. I don't care if you make fun of me, the books are good...

Another Paradox, Less Harmony

2009-03-12T07:17:00.001-07:00

Part of me wants to go to Africa. Live in a hut that I build myself and raise a family. I would get away from all of the industrialization, commercialization, and Christianization. I would simply live off of a land and work hard at doing it.

Another part of me wants to stay in America and become something amazing. Live a life that influences others and changes my community for the better. Become influential in order to effect positive change on those around me. But doing this would mean I would have to stay in the culture that I'm growing more frustrated with.

I can't seem to find a medium that fits. Maybe I'm not supposed to...

Karma Police...

2009-02-17T12:11:00.000-08:00

Awesomeness erupted from the Middle School gym today. Every lunch period half of the lunchroom gets to go to the gym to shoot basketballs or hit volleyballs around. Basically it's a time for me to own them in 1 on 1. I love it. So do they...

There are 3 big no-no's in the gym.

1) half court shots (normally i would not care, but there's way too many people in the gym and people get hit pretty hard when they airball)

2) PDA (this is the worst...by far. girls will jump on guys to get the rebound/flirt hardcore)

3) no drop kicking or throwing the volleyballs across the gym

today was awesome because karma took care of my job for me.

1st a boy took a volleyball from a girl and she jumped on his back. when i yelled at her to get off a volleyball came flying in from across the gym and hit her in the head. she was fine...

2nd, when i got over to where the ball was thrown from...the same kid had another volleyball and was repeating what he had just done (which was drop kick the ball into the wall and have it drop in on a group of people). this time though, when he drop kicked the volleyball from about 5 feet away from the wall, the ball went straight into the wall and back at him...hitting him in the testes. i was laughing too hard to be angry with him. i couldn't even hold myself up.
it reminded me of a combination of these two videos...only he got hit in the balls.

Apparently I have an Aura...

2009-01-29T07:11:00.001-08:00

Last summer I went on a missions trip to Iowa to help with the flood relief. The trip was great because I was the youngest person there by about 10 years. Most of the crew were my parents age and a few were my grandparents age. I had the time of my life.

The last place we helped break apart was this 2 story white house that resembled one of the cards in this game. There were 2 very fond memories of this place. 1) the massive sledge hammer that I used to break down some of the rotted insides of the living room. 2) the psychic homeowner who decided to read my fortune.

We were sitting outside eating lunch and talking about things when the homeowner lady (42/f/wore a bandana/seemed to have been in therapy a lot) decided to tell us that she was psychic. She said that she has known that women were pregnant before even they soon-to-be-parents knew. She claimed to have known that a different baby would be born with severe health problems.

Soon my fellow workers had rolled their eyes at this woman and carried on their way. Others began praying for her soul. I was obviously skeptical, yet carried on the conversation with simplicity and ease. She then proceeded to tell me about my aura and future.

"I see a great deal coming from you and your aura"
"My aura? Like I'm glowing or something?"
"Sort of...actually it's telling me that you have a very difficult time ahead of you."
"(silence)"
"I'm seeing you go through some heartache and pain in the next 3-6 months."
"Ummm...well isn't everyone going to go through some heartache and pain in the next 3-6 months? I mean, I think most people experience heartache and pain about every week. Don't they?"
"Yes, but this is significant. This is life altering pain"
"Well...I hope not, but if it happens I guess it happens."

(Later we were all hugging and saying our goodbyes to one another)

"Thank you all so much for doing this. You really are a Godsend."
(All of us sparatically) "You're welcome" "Our pleasure." etc...
"I'm going to be praying for all of you. (turns to me) Especially you"

=====

OK. I really didn't take this to heart too much. The other people in my group seemed more upset than I was. In fact, when I got back and told some people about that story, it seemed to bother them even more. So eventually I stopped telling the story. It seemed to be doing more harm than good.

I'm not exactly sure how supernatural things work. The spiritual world is one that I'm both fascinated and oblivious to. This may seem contradictory, but I think that we give way too much credit to the supernatural when sometimes things just happen. And at the same time there are more supernatural things going on then any of us are aware of.

The reason I'm typing this post now is that my 3-6 month period ended last week. I forgot about it for the majority of that time and only remembered last night when I was telling some people about some of the travels and missions trips I've been on. In the last 3-6 months I have had a friend's father die, been very lonely, saw true poverty in Africa, started a new difficult job, been turned down by a few girls to go on dates, and lost 70 bucks at a casino.

None of these things have been life altering heartache and pain. Unless you count playing the 'Deal or No Deal' slot machine at the casino and having to pick two cases and picking the $500 and $400 dollar biggest two options. Now that, was heartache and pain. Other than that, my life is good. No, actually, my life is great...

sometimes it's the smallest things...

2009-01-27T07:40:00.000-08:00

You may remember the kid I've talked about who is really into communism, WWII, and other such things. Well he gets picked on a lot. He brings it on himself, but nevertheless, he's a little on the outsides.

I saw something beautiful today. A guy knocked over his binder (the big ones that everyone has in middleschool) and his papers flew to the ground. But then a girl, who would NEVER be hanging out with my communist friend went nearly 30 feet in a quick jog to help him pick up his stuff. Everyone else passed by. After they picked everything up...the guy looked at the girl and whispered "thank" in a bitter tone. He hated the fact that this girl just helped him pick up his things. The girl simply nodded at him and went down the hallway smiling.

Beautiful.

teacher games...

2009-01-22T10:52:00.000-08:00

I found myself playing a game today at the middle school. The game was, see who gets caught running to go outside for recess.

I remember saying, "it's like the teachers are TRYING to get us in trouble." And I've finally learned, that yes, they are trying to get them in trouble. It's fun to hide in a doorway of the hall and see who you can catch running. Then you get to send them back to the cafeteria for a few minutes. I also enjoy trying to catch people who cut in line at lunch. It makes me so happy to walk up to a student and simply wag my finger towards them and then to the back of the line. No words. Just the common understanding that I just owned them.

It's a near sinister feeling. Muhahaha...

weird friends...

2009-01-21T07:38:00.000-08:00

i have the weirdest friends...when i asked one of them what to write about. he said, "penis enlargement and its effects on guatemala's economy, focusing on the emerging immigrant farmer sector." i'm not going to do that...

----

there is the weirdest stuff on the internet. and most of it can be found by using this.

----

i went to FCA for the first time at the middle school today. they had us write down the last song we had listened to. mine was this before i fell asleep last night. (i'm seriously on a classics kick) unless you count hearing the last verse of this (which i obviously don't) as i drove to work listening to kidd kraddick. and then she had us list our 3 favorite bands at the moment. mind are glen hansard, deathcab for cutie, and dispatch.

then the teacher asked where we thought the talent of these bands came from. which is a trick question...because the "right" answer (or at least the one he was looking for) is God, but that means that God is equally blessing ICP with Chris Tomlin with talent and success. One obviously gives credit to God, the other obviously does not. makes me question the whole 'God blesses those who...'

frustration...

You may speak only in cliche...

2009-01-15T08:36:00.001-08:00

My kind of game. I stole this from Brent Hines.

NO CHEATING!
1. Pick 15 (why not 20?) of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Bold it when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. No Googling/using IMDb search or other search functions.
6. No looking at my favorite movies on my Facebook page.

(I didn't necessarily chose my favorites, just ones I will almost always watch when they are on)

1. -How do you become something you're not?
--What do you want to become?
-What I'm not.
--What are you now?
-I'm nothing.

2. -How much is "wow"?
--It's right in between, uh, "ouch" and "boing".
-Wow!

3. -It is no concern of mine whether or not your family has... what was it again?
--Umm... food?
-Ha! You should have thought of that before you became peasants.

4. They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense.

5. -Was she a good kisser?
--Yeah.
-Yeah?
--It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.
-Gentleman. I'd forgotten what you guys looked like.

6. How is it possible to feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?

7. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men

8. A quick lesson in lying. See, this is what us real cops do: We study liars. Example: If I ask you a question about something visual, like your favorite color, your eyes go up and to the left. Neurophysiology tells us your eyes go in that direction, because you're accessing the visual cortex. So you're telling the truth. If your eyes go up and right, you're accessing the brain's creative centers and we know you're full of shit.

9. -I dreamt a dream tonight.
--And so did I.
-And what was yours?
--That dreamers often lie.

10. You guys are brothers?
--Well, it's a long story...
-My dad boned his mom.
---Okay, it's a short story.

11. -See, the funny thing about that is...
--[interrupting] Hey, look! Tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it off down the road.

12. For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing

13. So the combination is... one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

14. Every ex-player turned coach says that they prefer coaching over playing. Why would they all say that?
--Because they can't play.

15. -What is "tiramisu"?
--You'll find out.
-Well, what is it?
--You'll see!
-Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

16. You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.

(Alright the final one is going to be a doozy. Remember, no cheating!!!)

17. I'm begging you, it's really scary here. I've just seen three people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's this old guy outside who wants his bedroom slippers!

Christmas Cards

2009-01-12T08:37:00.001-08:00

I didn't check my mail for a long time and when I finally did it was full of Christmas Cards. Mostly family, all telling me how wonderful things were. (I got 6 different cards telling me about my own sister's wedding last summer).

I got in a little bit of a debate with my roommate on whether or not these cards are necessary. It is nice to have an update from people, but at the same time they are EXTREMELY fake.

I mean it's the 5 moments of a year that are added with a family picture that makes everyone look like the Brady's. So, with that said, here is my Christmas Card. These are the major events and what's going on right now:

1. My sister got married. Woot Woot!

2. I went to Africa. Which all that means is that once again, I had a huge experience that was done ALONE. It seems like all of my most important events have taken place with people who live thousands of miles away. Oxford...Summer Road Trip...Freshman year of college...Africa...

3. I work 2 jobs. One works with kids who get in trouble and are forced to sit in silence all day. The other is working with Famous Dave's Employees who determine how much to drink that night based on when they have to wake up the next morning for work. I very much enjoy both of these jobs, however.

4. Friends coming and going. Brad's gone, Zane's back. Jacob's gone, I see more of Tedder. The Texas guys are never here, but Kasey, Tatem, and Dickson are. LJ is gone, but Marion's here. The old basement crew has left (Blake, Zac, Brad, Lewis) but the new basement crew is unreal (Kenny, Jelly, Russell). I'm overjoyed at the friends I have, but miss my old ones very badly.

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
FOR THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN'

WWII

2009-01-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

There's a kid in here who is really into WWII, the Cold War, and all of that kind of stuff. He's a little different and the other kids tell him he's a communist.

He's actually my favorite right now.

Also. This is my new favorite.

Wake-Up Mr. Hubbard...

2009-01-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

6:45 is my new wake up time. I apologize advance to Kasey and Zane for they will have to hear my alarm go off every morning at this time.

Yesterday was my second day. I had no kids in trouble. No kids needing to catch up on work. And no kids in my room. Therefore, I sat and did nothing all day. This job is going to be intense. On a plus side, I got to listen to some guster and dispatch in my room because I had no kids.

It's amazing how quickly I can seperate the wheat from the chaff. I've been here 3 days now, and I already know who I'm going to have at some point for in-school suspension.

Beginnings...

2008-10-30T01:18:00.000-07:00

I feel like the Christian life is impossible. It's full of paradox. I feel like it's the duty of Christians to be harmoniously unsettled. It's "be perfect as I am perfect" and "all have fallen short." It's the last being first, without being last SO that I'm first. It's the belief that I can always be doing more. More for God, more for people, more for myself.

So I think it's my lifelong goal to find harmony in the paradoxes. It's easing my mind and sharpening it at the same time.

My life. The paradoxical harmony.