A Self Checklist...

I haven’t been patient.
I've been kind at times. (+1)
I have envied a lot.
I boasted in my mind about how great I was.
I was very proud of myself.
I wasn’t really rude…so I have that going for me. (+2)
I was DEFINITELY self-seeking.
I was very easily angered.
I kept a long list of things done wrong.
I didn’t delight in evil, which is good. (+3)
But I haven't been rejoicing in truth.
I tried to protect, but I didn’t protect from my words.
I struggled to trust.
I did hope. (+4)
But through it all...we persevered! (+5)

LOVE NEVER FAILS.
Even when I do.

Next....

Life is moving. Life is good. Life is hard. I guess that's how it's supposed to be.

Here's the highlights:
- Same job. Working as a CA.
- Finishing prereqs. Sucky, but I'll be done at the end of the summer.
- Future job. On it's way. I know where I want to go, now I just need to know how to get in and how to pay for it.
- Girlfriend. You bet. I'm truly learning what it means to be with someone who makes you a better person.
- Roommates. Awesome. 2 of them are headed to Cuba for a week, 1 is going to Houston, so it looks like it's just me and my boy Coulter for a while.

Life is moving pretty fast. But I'm taking the time to stop and look around. So don't worry Matthew Broderick...I'm doing ok.

4 moments in Kansas

This last weekend I went back to Manhattan and Kansas City. It was amazing of a reunion as I could have hoped for. The weekend consisted of catching up, baseball, settlers, stories, craps, homework, redbull, laughter, seizures, backgammon, church, movies, depth, and exhaustion. Within this weekend there were 4 moments that meant more to me than anyone will know.

1) Alumni Baseball Game. My childhood and baseball are synonyms. Every summer I played for an extremely talented little league baseball team. We would win NBC state every year and head off to nationals each August. We won the NBC Little League World Series in Minnesota when I was 14. Playing this final game of baseball with all of my college friends around was phenomenal. It didn't matter that I went 0-2 with a BB (even though I did hit a homerun in warmups). It mattered that I spent that afternoon playing a beautiful game with my close friends.

2) Craps in Topeka. This part of my weekend is all about fun. Roadtrips at 8pm to a casino with some of the funnest people I know. Anytime you can gather 5 hilarious people around one end of a craps table, AND the roller goes on a heater is going to be a great time. Especially being able to spend time with Guinty and Tim (I mean Roth).

3) A simple slap on the back. It was the smallest of moments, but when we were at Church in Kansas City the pact crew (minus 1) was sitting on the pews when Josh Tedder slapped me in the back and said that he was glad I was there. It was a small gesture and it came from no where. I felt loved right then. It was a good feeling.

4) Coffee shop with Marion. For a few hours on Monday, Marion Griffin and I sat at a coffee shop talking about our lives and our friends. We rehashed about the most recent issues flooding our minds and eventually landed on the topic of image and roles that we project to friends and strangers. Marion said some of the most genuinely nice things anyone's ever said to me. I think it helped me reconcile my life in Kansas City with my life in Austin. (Marion you're going to be a great therapist).

These are just a few moments in a weekend full of amazing moments.

forced to choose favorites (music edition)

I got a new mp3 player a few days ago. It's not big, so it requires me to choose only my favorite artists. Thay are (in no order):

- Iron and Wine
- Sufjan Stevens
- The Avett Brothers
- Vampire Weekend
- Radiohead
- Mumford and Sons
- Sigur Ros
- Local Natives
- Jack Johnson
- MGMT
- Guster
- Fleet Foxes
- Explosions in the Sky
- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
- Dave Matthews Band
- Counting Crows
- Bon Iver

I'm very proud of this list.

when the question is usually the answer...i get confused

How do you become more disciplined?

Being disciplined is usually the ANSWER to questions, not the question itself.

How do I get better at guitar?
You discipline yourself to sit down and work on it.
How do I connect with God better?
You discipline yourself to read the Bible everyday.
How do I become a better student?
You discipline yourself to go to a coffee shop and do the homework without looking at Netflix.

But how do you become more disciplined? No clue. I guess the answer is "just do it." After 25 years of living with myself, I know that I am undisciplined. I think the answer is to surround myself with people like Josh Tedder and Coulter Goodman who are extremely disciplined people. I guess...

Ok, enough of that. I have South Park and LOST to watch on Netflix.

I'm going to brag for a minute...

Sorry for the hiatus. But I'm returning (not fully returned...but working on it)

I've been working as a Clinical Assistant for Brackenridge Hospital for about 4 months now. A short job description for my job is to help people for 8-12 hours each day. I really only have one official task and that is to take blood pressure and temperatures for the patients on my floor. After that, help people. Help the nurses by drawing blood, emptying fluid drains, transporting/moving patients, walking patients as part of their physical therapy. Helping the charge nurse by answering phones, knowing where the different paperwork is kept, getting rooms set up. Helping patients by giving baths, handing out food trays, changing bed sheets, and keeping an eye on the more "interesting" patients. Therefore, since I like helping people, I like my job.

I had my job evaluation two days ago. It's a nerve racking task, because I sit with my boss (who is not known for coddling people) for about an hour and talk about all the things you do well and poorly in the hospital. She reminds me of the principal or assistant principal who you DON'T want to see in highschool when you get in trouble. So I was quite nervous.

Within 30 seconds of being in her office I knew everything was going to be just fine. She had the nicest things to say to me. In fact, I think they were the nicest things anyone has ever said to me by someone who doesn't love me (so not including family, girlfriends, friends, etc...). She raved about my ability to pick up things quickly, to be available for helping others, my interaction/attitude with the nursing staff, and just about every aspect of the job. I don't think she had a single negative thing to say about me. She wanted me to start getting involved in committees and meetings in order to be more of a leader on the floor, and said she was eager to write me a letter of recommendation for nursing school. I walked out of her office floating on air, and ready to conquer the world.

I realize most of this blog post has been about how great I am. Really I'm imaging my mother being the only one who reads it, so I am directing this post towards her and she doesn't seem to get tired of hearing how great I am. I'm going to try and post more....well see if it happens.

Nonetheless...

Martin Luther King Jr. was put in prison multiple times in his life. During that time he wrote letters, organized his mind, and refocused his thoughts. I envy that. I don't actually want to do any crimes or do things that are wrong, but I've often wished I were locked away in prison. Prison would allow me to appreciate things more, allow me to refocus my life, allow me to write the books I've always wanted to write, and allow me perspective. I recognize my own naivety in these wishes, but I still think them nonetheless.

For some reason I can't refocus my life on my own. I doubt I ever actually write the books that I've wanted to write, I doubt I'll ever truly appreciate things the way I should, and I doubt I'll ever live truly significantly. But I still wish them nonetheless.

Only a handful of people are chosen to be remembered years after their time is done. Only a small collection of people were chosen to be represented in the Bible. I can only think of maybe 10 people who were alive 1000 years ago. My name will not be remembered in 1000 years, but I wish it nonetheless.

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"Things that you Think" by Ben Folds and Pomplamoose

In 1450, there were about 100 new books published.
Last year there were more than a million.
A new book comes out every 30 seconds.
It would take me 15 years just to read the titles of every book ever written.

You're going to watch TV tonight?
Fair enough, I suppose...

Our universe consists of between 30-50 billion trillion stars.
Arranged in 80-140 billion galaxies.
Our nearest neighboring star is called proxima centuri and it's 4 light years away.

We need some bread, but it's really hot outside and I can't be bothered to walk around the corner...

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