waking up without an alarm clock...

it amazes me how much time can be wasted in front of a TV. yesterday i had a list of things i wanted to do once i got back from wichita. reading, writing, rowing, working on the deck, and other things. i started off by watching "Cash Cab" with dinner. i finally turned the TV off after 'you've got mail' at 12:30 at night. what a wasted day (even though i do love you've got mail)

i love living at he lake. though i haven't been as productive as i would have liked, i'm still love being here. my favorite aspect is waking up without an alarm clock. i wake up with the sun shining in my room around 8:00 and finally get out of bed around 9:30 or so. there's something about living with no expectations.

i've also been playing a lot of golf. i can thank tedder and mar for that. i'm getting good too...

i got my father's LP record player up here at the lake now. i listened to the Beatle's Hard Days Night twice through this morning. Then switched it over to Let it Be. Tonight I play on listening to The Who and journalling.

Yes, I am trying to make you jealous by this post. I love living here. You should join me. I'm here till the 24th or so. Don't come this weekend though. I'll be in Wichita for the world cup beginning!!!

an uncle's eyes...

most of the time i act out what i think i'm supposed to do. i react because i'm supposed to react that way. i laugh at the punchline, regardless of the joke.

i once told a group of friends that i am immune to emotion, feeling, and taste. we still laugh about how ridiculous that sounds.

....

my friends, this weekend i became an uncle. there was no feigning emotion. there was no immunity to feelings. i looked at my nephew's tiny mouth as he hiccuped and whispered in my nephew's tiny ears that 'you are loved.' i teared up with joy, shivered at the fear of his endless possibilities, and prayed hard for my sister's health and strength.

to pass the 22 hours of hospital stay i periodically made small talk with the nurses at the hospital. one in particular became a friend. after baby jace was born she asked me as i walked passed, "so, what do you think?" i responded, "i think...i think he's...perfect." this small creature is as perfect a person can be. he has yet to fail. yet to lie. yet to cheat, steal, or destroy. don't get me wrong, i know he will someday. but for right now, he is perfection in flesh. the thought makes me both smile and shudder. his endless possibilities are...perfect.

jace has already inspired me to be a better person. and in 30 minutes he'll be exactly one day old. i wonder what he'll teach me next.