4 moments in Kansas

This last weekend I went back to Manhattan and Kansas City. It was amazing of a reunion as I could have hoped for. The weekend consisted of catching up, baseball, settlers, stories, craps, homework, redbull, laughter, seizures, backgammon, church, movies, depth, and exhaustion. Within this weekend there were 4 moments that meant more to me than anyone will know.

1) Alumni Baseball Game. My childhood and baseball are synonyms. Every summer I played for an extremely talented little league baseball team. We would win NBC state every year and head off to nationals each August. We won the NBC Little League World Series in Minnesota when I was 14. Playing this final game of baseball with all of my college friends around was phenomenal. It didn't matter that I went 0-2 with a BB (even though I did hit a homerun in warmups). It mattered that I spent that afternoon playing a beautiful game with my close friends.

2) Craps in Topeka. This part of my weekend is all about fun. Roadtrips at 8pm to a casino with some of the funnest people I know. Anytime you can gather 5 hilarious people around one end of a craps table, AND the roller goes on a heater is going to be a great time. Especially being able to spend time with Guinty and Tim (I mean Roth).

3) A simple slap on the back. It was the smallest of moments, but when we were at Church in Kansas City the pact crew (minus 1) was sitting on the pews when Josh Tedder slapped me in the back and said that he was glad I was there. It was a small gesture and it came from no where. I felt loved right then. It was a good feeling.

4) Coffee shop with Marion. For a few hours on Monday, Marion Griffin and I sat at a coffee shop talking about our lives and our friends. We rehashed about the most recent issues flooding our minds and eventually landed on the topic of image and roles that we project to friends and strangers. Marion said some of the most genuinely nice things anyone's ever said to me. I think it helped me reconcile my life in Kansas City with my life in Austin. (Marion you're going to be a great therapist).

These are just a few moments in a weekend full of amazing moments.

forced to choose favorites (music edition)

I got a new mp3 player a few days ago. It's not big, so it requires me to choose only my favorite artists. Thay are (in no order):

- Iron and Wine
- Sufjan Stevens
- The Avett Brothers
- Vampire Weekend
- Radiohead
- Mumford and Sons
- Sigur Ros
- Local Natives
- Jack Johnson
- MGMT
- Guster
- Fleet Foxes
- Explosions in the Sky
- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
- Dave Matthews Band
- Counting Crows
- Bon Iver

I'm very proud of this list.

when the question is usually the answer...i get confused

How do you become more disciplined?

Being disciplined is usually the ANSWER to questions, not the question itself.

How do I get better at guitar?
You discipline yourself to sit down and work on it.
How do I connect with God better?
You discipline yourself to read the Bible everyday.
How do I become a better student?
You discipline yourself to go to a coffee shop and do the homework without looking at Netflix.

But how do you become more disciplined? No clue. I guess the answer is "just do it." After 25 years of living with myself, I know that I am undisciplined. I think the answer is to surround myself with people like Josh Tedder and Coulter Goodman who are extremely disciplined people. I guess...

Ok, enough of that. I have South Park and LOST to watch on Netflix.

I'm going to brag for a minute...

Sorry for the hiatus. But I'm returning (not fully returned...but working on it)

I've been working as a Clinical Assistant for Brackenridge Hospital for about 4 months now. A short job description for my job is to help people for 8-12 hours each day. I really only have one official task and that is to take blood pressure and temperatures for the patients on my floor. After that, help people. Help the nurses by drawing blood, emptying fluid drains, transporting/moving patients, walking patients as part of their physical therapy. Helping the charge nurse by answering phones, knowing where the different paperwork is kept, getting rooms set up. Helping patients by giving baths, handing out food trays, changing bed sheets, and keeping an eye on the more "interesting" patients. Therefore, since I like helping people, I like my job.

I had my job evaluation two days ago. It's a nerve racking task, because I sit with my boss (who is not known for coddling people) for about an hour and talk about all the things you do well and poorly in the hospital. She reminds me of the principal or assistant principal who you DON'T want to see in highschool when you get in trouble. So I was quite nervous.

Within 30 seconds of being in her office I knew everything was going to be just fine. She had the nicest things to say to me. In fact, I think they were the nicest things anyone has ever said to me by someone who doesn't love me (so not including family, girlfriends, friends, etc...). She raved about my ability to pick up things quickly, to be available for helping others, my interaction/attitude with the nursing staff, and just about every aspect of the job. I don't think she had a single negative thing to say about me. She wanted me to start getting involved in committees and meetings in order to be more of a leader on the floor, and said she was eager to write me a letter of recommendation for nursing school. I walked out of her office floating on air, and ready to conquer the world.

I realize most of this blog post has been about how great I am. Really I'm imaging my mother being the only one who reads it, so I am directing this post towards her and she doesn't seem to get tired of hearing how great I am. I'm going to try and post more....well see if it happens.

Nonetheless...

Martin Luther King Jr. was put in prison multiple times in his life. During that time he wrote letters, organized his mind, and refocused his thoughts. I envy that. I don't actually want to do any crimes or do things that are wrong, but I've often wished I were locked away in prison. Prison would allow me to appreciate things more, allow me to refocus my life, allow me to write the books I've always wanted to write, and allow me perspective. I recognize my own naivety in these wishes, but I still think them nonetheless.

For some reason I can't refocus my life on my own. I doubt I ever actually write the books that I've wanted to write, I doubt I'll ever truly appreciate things the way I should, and I doubt I'll ever live truly significantly. But I still wish them nonetheless.

Only a handful of people are chosen to be remembered years after their time is done. Only a small collection of people were chosen to be represented in the Bible. I can only think of maybe 10 people who were alive 1000 years ago. My name will not be remembered in 1000 years, but I wish it nonetheless.

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"Things that you Think" by Ben Folds and Pomplamoose

In 1450, there were about 100 new books published.
Last year there were more than a million.
A new book comes out every 30 seconds.
It would take me 15 years just to read the titles of every book ever written.

You're going to watch TV tonight?
Fair enough, I suppose...

Our universe consists of between 30-50 billion trillion stars.
Arranged in 80-140 billion galaxies.
Our nearest neighboring star is called proxima centuri and it's 4 light years away.

We need some bread, but it's really hot outside and I can't be bothered to walk around the corner...

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how to jason bourne your way into a job...

if you want the reader's digest version of the story, jump to the ======== marks


here's the story of me finding work in Austin. it's a strange one, and there may be some lessons in there somewhere, but more than anything, it's luck.

PART 1: since moving to austin, i have a standard procedure when walking into any place of business. sample conversation:

them: "hi, welcome to _______"
me: "thanks, are you guys hiring right now?"
them: "i don't think we are right now, but you can always fill out an application"

the morning walked into the Lift Cafe with my friend Nic, I assumed the conversation would be the same. but instead of "i don't think we are right now" i heard "actually i think we might be." this was the first time i'd heard such a statement, and decided to act. i filled out my application, chatted with the manager, and found myself having an interview monday monring.

PART 2: on monday morning i came in about 9:45am to find out that the manager was not going to be in that morning and to come back tuesday. but i did chat with Ally, an assistant manager for about 20 minutes. we talked about the church she went to, and she directed me to how that church finds places to live (which is my biggest lead on an apartment right now). the conversation went great, and as i handed her my resume she became even more impressed (her major was also counseling). i left that afternoon feeling ubber confident.

PART 3: the interview on tuesday started well. manager tom was asking a lot of questions and the tone of the interview turned from "if you work here" to "when you work here." but then something HORRIBLE happened. he said that there weren't any current positions available but that it would be great if i could be an "on call barista." this means that he didn't want me on the schedule but on a random day i might get my chance to come in if someone else is sick. similar to a AAA pitcher being called to the big leagues. i obviously thought this was a load of crap, but didn't let him in on that. after about 2 more minutes of talking i decided to ask if it would be alright if i at least got trained, so that i could know what i was doing if i got called up (my real motivation was to be able to put "trained as a barista" on my resume). immediately tom seemed impressed and said, "actually, that's a great idea, why don't we get you trained, start you out at minimum wage, and see how things go. come by tomorrow at 9am."

PART 4: my training day went really well, and tom and the others seemed impressed with my work (even though i'd never worked at a coffee shop and did NOT know the difference between a cappiccino or latte (and i still don't know how to spell cappiccino). eventually tom left without telling me if i should come in again for training, and his wife, manager tori came in the shop. while she was here, she was surprised that tom had 'hired' a new person (she didn't know i was only training). and she talked to me about my availability and she put me on the schedule for the next 2 weeks.

PART 5: after working there a week and being fully trained i was introduced to the owners as 'the new employee.' i'm fully on the schedule and have impressed them all. so in summary, if you want a job. you have to ignore a manager who says "we aren't hiring right now" you have to rely on some miscommunication between two different managers, and you have actually be good at whatever you're doing. it's that easy.

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summary of how i got a job:
- went to coffee shop with a friend and filled out application.
- had interview where manager tom said, "no positions available, sorry"
- asked if i could be trained as a barista in case a position opened up
- tom agreed to train me the next day
- the next day manager tori comes in and didn't know i was going to be trained, and assumed i was a new employee
- tori put me on the schedule
- impressed them with my work abilities that they end up hiring me anyway

Problems and Solutions AKA Blessings

PROBLEM: I was struggling to stay focused, determined, and driven while in Kansas City.
SOLUTION: I moved to Austin TX. (I write this blog in a coffee shop in Austin)

PROBLEM: My last visit in Kansas was to my mother's friend who happens to be a professor of nursing at Wichita State. As I left her house, I turned to say goodbye and accidentally hugged her. I have been used to hugging people goodbye over the last few weeks, and forgot exactly where I was...
SOLUTION: She laughed at me, and I laughed my way home.

PROBLEM: My first day in Austin my truck broke down and I thought it was going to be beyond repair.
SOLUTION: Though it looked horrible, it turns out the car only lost a pin that kept the wheel where it needed to be. Total cost to repair: $150. Amazing.

PROBLEM: I don't have a job, home, or church in Austin.
SOLUTION: I have worked on getting all 3 of those things, and am currently waiting to hear back from the Hiring Coordinator at the hospital here, I have found a place to live which will be nice and cheap, and I have meetings set up this week to meet with pastors at 2 local churches.

PROBLEM: I have a test in 14 days to qualify for a better job at the hospital and become a fully licensed EMT-Basic.
SOLUTION: 3 straight days of coffee shop studying. I only took a 10 minute break to write this post now. I grow more and more confident in my ability to pass this test as I study more and more.

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Though it is possible that all of these things will not work out, I am fully satisfied in my own approach to the problems. I have worked hard and feel like God is blessing me with solving each small problem at a time.